Letters to Wormmon
by Kasage Starrunner
Summary: This is a semi-AU set of e-mails from Ken to Wormmon after he "can't go to the Digital World". I started this before I saw the season finale, but plan on finishing it and writing the sequel, "Letters from Wormmon."
1. I can't go to the Digital World

**Message 1**   
  


**To: Wormmom@digitalworld**

**From: "Ichijyouji Ken" ichijyouji_k@destiny.jp**

**Subject: I can't go to the Digital World**   
  


Dear Wormmon,   
  


I can't go to the Digital World anymore. I suppose that's the first thing to say. I can't go tot he Digital World anymore. I can't run away. There's no portal. It doesn't come when I call. I guess there's no need for me anymore. I'm shut out. The D3 holds no meaning. Its just ... a memory.   
  


I thought it would never end, Wormmon. Never! The end, its over. Gone in an instant, leaving me to wonder. I'm just sitting here. Sitting here atop my own bed staring across the room at a blank computer screen, hoping desperately that it will change its bit/byte mind.   
  


But it won't, and I'm lonely. So lonely I could die.   
  


Where are you, Wormmon? What are you doing? Do you know how much I miss you-need you?   
  


Indubitably. You had faith in me when I didn't have faith in myself. Now I'm 16 years old and you're gone, like everything else precious to me. Its like it was all a dream, some fantasy I concocted to keep myself sane. But you aren't a dream. No, not the Digital World, and not you Wormmon, and I won't stop believing. At at least owe you that, for your belief in me.   
  


At most ... At most I owe you my life.   
  


What's that? Tears? It seems I cry an awful lot now. This world I live in has changed. Maybe its because I don't have you here anymore. Not even Davis or Yolei understands. They've found some way to go on with their lives. I-I just can't.   
  


It's like an apocalypse around here now. Things are so dark. People-well, they just don't care! Every man's a kaiser. Every man's a Digimon Emperor.   
  


And everyone but me hasn't learned the price of power. Oh, and did I learn. You showed me. I wish you could help me show them. They don't know-Don't know about those black collars, control spires- even the whips they wield. They don't know who all that they hurt.   
  


It never was a game, Wormmon. It's not now. If you could se what people are doing you would cry. Cry like you did for me. I'm-I'm not the only man who strayed the path ... And other people can do much worse things ... You died for me. So many more are still suffering because of people like me. Forgive me. I still feel blood-stained. I feel like I'm on this band wagon, coasting down to Hades at 500 Kilometers an hour without escape. But its okay, because I'm not evil anymore. But it hurts me to see the others ... The others like me.   
  


I know I've apologized for myself, but now I'd like to apologize for the human race. I'm sorry that we are not all as good as the Digidestined. I'm sorry you had to see that through me.   
  


Tell the Digital World that I'm sorry. Tell them that I'm finally going to make amends. Tell them ... Tell them I'm going to believe in humanity like you believed in me. No more kaisers ... No more Digimon Emperors.   
  


I'll do it for you.   
  


Because you are my Digimon.   
  


And I love you.   
  


Always Yours, 

Ken 


	2. Wonderings

**Message 2**   
  


**To: Wormmom@digitalworld**

**From: "Ichijyouji Ken" ichijyouji_k@destiny.jp**

**Subject: Wonderings**   
  


Dear Wormmon,   
  


I wonder if he watches me ... Osamu, I mean. I-I sometimes wonder ... Like right now. I guess I'm missing him. That's what my parents say. I think they're right. Wormmon, do you think that its possible to ... never mind. I talked to Davis about it anyway.   
  


You know, its an interesting thing about Davis. As goofy and silly as he can be sometimes, he /really/ listens when you have a problem. He knows when you're upset and trying to hide it too, the clown. Just today, when I told him I was missing my brother, he made the funniest face I had seen in my life. Davis has some unique talents. I suppose Veemon does too.   
  


That wasn't the weird thing, though. All of the sudden, he became completely silent and serious. Then he looked at me and so solemn scuffed his feet and said, "Maybe, when people die ... Maybe they become ... well ... Digimon ..." And then he stopped and looked down at his feet scuffing the ground, waiting for me to laugh or say it was stupid, like Izzy or Kari or T.K. would. I didn't say a word, Wormmon. I just stood there.   
  


And now I'm thinking about what he said, wondering if some Digimon is my brother. I guess that's a foolish statement for someone like me. I'm not a child anymore. Stuff like that doesn't really happen ... Accept in the Digital World. The idea ... It makes me smile though.   
  


What kind of person would you have been? Its probably better not to wonder. I like you just the way you are ... And of coarse all your Digivolvutions. I can still picture you, Wormmon ... Blue eyes, green face ... And your loyal voice through all my mistakes: "Ken ..."   
  


And then I see me kicking you. Back to the drawing board. Ahg! Guess all the good memories couldn't last forever. Hey, at least I don't think about them all the time now.   
  


Yolei tries to keep me on the "up and up". She says I'm better than her- "at least you don't stick your foot in your mouth. Sometimes, I even get it stuck!" I admire her honesty. You always know she's telling the truth. Ummm ... Don't tell her any secrets, though. Davis told her that he had a crush on a cheerleader, and it was around the school by noon.   
  


I like her anyway. She's a good friend- and I never would have met her, Davis, or Cody had it not been for the Digitalworld. We're gonna play laser tag tonight. I'll think of you-- I always do.   
  


Missing You, 

Ken 


	3. Ahhhhhhh!

**Message 3**   
  


**To: Wormmom@digitalworld**

**From: "Ichijyouji Ken" ichijyouji_k@destiny.jp**

**Subject: Ahhhhhhhhh!**   
  


Dear Wormmon,   
  


I just had the most horrible nightmare. If I could still go to the Digital World, I'd be afraid that it was real!   
  


Remember, a long time ago ... When -when I hung Davis off the side of a cliff- with Veemon on the otherside, bound and helpless?---- That was my dream, only I was hanging off of the cliff, trying so hard to get to you on the other side.   
  


And then I saw ... me ... the Digimon Kaiser. I was laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world. I could see myself so clear ... And yet I was still /me/.   
  


I just started screaming- Ken me, not Kaiser me. I was yelling at the Kaiser, telling him to let you go and let /me/ get on with my life. He just snickered and lifted his shades, you remember those ... I will never forget that contemptuous face ...   
  


It was Osamu's.   
  


I know I was yelling louder then, but he just put back his head and laughed again. I wonder if I looked that crazy in my evil glory. With spite he held up his dark digivice- no /my/ Dark Digivice. I expected him to press the button and watch me fall into the abyss.   
  


He pressed the button alright ... I didn't fall ... You did.   
  


It was like when you tried to save me, save /me/ from the Kaiser, and you fell out of my grasy, me helpless to save you because of my own plight of darkness. I couldn't reach you, Wormmon, and I tried! My hands ... they were bound ... By my memories?   
  


The last thing I remember was you disappearing, me screaming your name, and Osamu laughing bodiless in pure darkness.   
  


Then I woke up.   
  


So I'm here writing this, trying to calm my nerves. It was so frightening ... Beyond belief. It leaves me wondering if all in all Osamu really was that driving force behind the Kaiser ... I don't know.   
  


I'm sorry I couldn't save you, even though it was only a dream ... I failed you again.   
  


Yours, 

Ken 


End file.
